The 5 Biggest Mistakes that Repel Amazing Men
Believing you’re not worth it, so you give the wrong ones the time of day and don’t even give a chance to the right ones. Why? Because it’s safe and familiar. It’s what you know. This may be a conscious or unconscious belief. Most of the time it’s actually so unconscious, that you can’t even see it in you. But the proof is in the men you attract. What kind of man do you seem to attract? When you act like you’re not worth it, your confidence and authentic self-expression are affected big time, even if you try to pretend otherwise.
A high-quality man will sense if you don’t believe you’re worth it by your energy, demeanor, and for sure from your communication. When he spots unworthiness in you, which is faster than you think, he automatically ceases to consider you as a mate. So he looks at you as a potential friend, if that. An extraordinary man doesn’t want to be with a woman whom he has to be an emotional caretaker for. He wants to be an extraordinary lover, partner, true intimate friend to an extraordinary woman who will welcome 100% of his love, not sabotage it.
Leading with your sexual energy, when you’ve got so much more going on for yourself. You do this when you don’t yet truly and fully acknowledge the awesomeness in the rest of you enough to lead with a deeper, more reliable part of you. Leading with your sexual energy is exactly what attracts guys who are primarily interested in “you know what.”
This is great when you want a playtime buddy, but when you’re looking for a high-quality man or The One, this will disqualify you before you even say “hi”. What role does your sexual energy play with men before even talking to him? During the first date? In my one-on-one work with women, I often hear them express their fear of not being accepted for who they are if the guy knows them too well before sex. Leading with your sexual energy is an ineffective way of trying to prove to him that you’re acceptable because you’re good in bed.
Being needy, desperate, or attached to love. In other words: not being in the present moment. If you’re not present then where the heck are you? Um, in some fantasy about you and that guy. This is what your head may sound like: “Could he be The One? Is he the father of my children? Is this the one for me?”
This makes you act a little unlike yourself. and if you do that you’ll justify it. You may pretend you're more interested in him than you actually are and if you do that you'll justify it. It may not be something that’s consciously obvious to the gentleman in front of you, but I’ll tell you that he can sure feel it without having to think about it for even a second.
And just like that: he won’t trust you. He may not know this himself, but he will act it out. It’s like when you know a guy is acting interested in you so he can get in your pants. It's a turn-off, isn't it?
Making him more important than you. This is one sure way for him to know you’re not the right one for him. He, The One, doesn’t have a big enough ego to enjoy being put on a pedestal for more than five seconds, however short the pedestal. It will bore him to death and he’ll lose respect for you. He’ll tell you how amazing and sweet you really are, but won’t pursue you.
Every time you make him more important than you, you neglect yourself. Over time you’ll just resent him for nurturing your self-neglect and you’ll lose respect for him.
This is ideal for an old-fashioned 1950’s who wants a woman to wear on his arm when he goes out, cook for him, and bring him the paper on Sundays. This is not you though. It’s too easy and it would bore you. gentleman When you don’t honor yourself, your needs, preferences, and desires from the start (just so you can please him instead) you’re telling him that you don’t know who you are yet and that you’re seeking refuge under the wing of a man
Making yourself just as important as him, while also honoring him, identifies you as a stellar respectable woman who is actually worth pursuing with his heart, not his underpants. An extraordinary man wants an established independent smart woman who knows and honors herself, even if it annoys him sometimes.
Being Jaded. Believing and thinking negative things about men based on your history of love and relationships, as well as the ones of your female friends and family members. When you’re jaded you’ve lost most, if not all, hope and desire for a great man because you think they’re extinct like dinosaurs. You’ve given up on ever being adored and celebrated by a man. “The good ones are either taken, gay, or they’re jerks”, you tell your girlfriends. This personalized inaccurate view of reality is what you get and what you see when you’re jaded. And you find plenty of “evidence” for it.
When you see what may look like Real Love you judge it, demean it, are puzzled by it, and even secretly jealous of it. You think true love is something that only some are meant to have, but not you. And you’re mad about that, but you’re not doing anything about it except enforce this misbelief. When an extraordinary man senses this, you instantly get categorized as out of his league. Jaded is a quick way to basically shoot yourself in the foot when it comes to Love.
Being jaded is also an indication that there is so much unresolved within regarding Love and men. An extraordinary man doesn’t want to be a shooting target. He has graduated from that. Rather than trying to get a man, your energy is actually most useful by looking within, with the intention to exercise responsibility for your inner experience. It can be challenging, but not impossible, to overcome jadedness. Doing so makes possible the experience of True Love. Staying jaded guarantees a love-less life in which you get to be right about how men are.
Dearest Soul Sister,
My heart goes out to you on your personal journey back home to your own source of Love. If you’re struggling with any of these challenges I’ve mentioned, you’re not alone. If you are willing to believe that Love is a skill anyone can learn, you can return to the Loving Radiance within that is required to attract the Love you truly deserve.
Here’s a powerful practice you can do
Listen to the Self-Love Meditation (free on soundcloud) in front of the mirror to connect you with that powerful Love within. The feeling of reuniting with your precious Self will be palpable and moving. Here’s to you breathing, moving, and living from LOVE.
You don’t have to do it alone
My advice is to work with a pro Love mentor to receive the guidance you need to overcome your challenges in way less time than it would take you doing it alone. Doing it alone is hard, things move very slowly, and there’s no guarantee that you’ll be able to uncover and work through all the blind spots that have been getting in the way of love. We all have blind spots; even me, which is why I always have a few mentors I work with.
Doing it alone makes it easy to NOT face your fears
and negative stories you have about Love because no one is holding you accountable or guiding you back to center. No one is calling you on your conditioned limiting patterns. It’s a way of letting yourself get away with a non-working quality of Love and life. Working with a mentor is what ambitious women do when they want extraordinary results in the shortest time.
Successful athletes and well-known actors have mentors and coaches, not because they’re weak, but because they want to be the BEST. The greater the vision, the greater the support that’s needed to make sure that vision comes to fruition, with a clear step-by-step strategy and plan.
Behind every great woman is an extraordinary loving and supportive man
My prayer is that you say YES to yourself and YES to Love... That you do what it takes to support yourself in attracting the rich and vibrant Love you are meant to have from the man of your dreams. I want this for you. Because when you have extraordinary Love you’ll be able to express your purpose and contribute to the world even more deeply.
Finding true love is never an accident or luck
Finding true love is based on having gone through a specific inner journey to deal with all the places inside that are sabotaging and repelling true Love. The problem is that your blind spots prevent you from seeing these places. The years and even decades it would take for you to figure out your blind spots on your own can take a tiny fraction of that time by working with the right mentor who has already figured out exactly how love works.
The Dalai Lama says that the world will be saved by the Western Woman. Your Light and Love are needed in this world. Playing small in life and love doesn’t do anyone any good.
There’s an extraordinary man out there who is dreaming and yearning for a wonderful woman exactly like YOU. But you have to BE and FEEL that wonderful first, otherwise, when he comes along, he won’t recognize you.
There are too many women in this world who live a whole life without ever experiencing true Love. I don’t want you to be struggling with Love for longer than you already have. I am calling on your Great Self to step forward and guide you back to your own personal power.
Do you accept the invitation from your Great Self?
There’s no sense in waiting another year to “see how things go.” Your love life won't change unless you do.
Book your 1st coaching session with me to discover the exact proven strategy you need to finally attract the love you've been dreaming of. My clients consistently report that their 1st session was WAY more insightful than all the years of therapy they ever did.
I look forward to supporting you with all my heart...
With great Love,
Love Coach & Hypnotherapist for Women
Win at Love starting with You
Helping successful spiritual women attract soulful love, and keep it
without compromising or playing games...